Love is a decision. Every day, I wake up and look to my left, and on most mornings I am blessed to see my beautiful wife Lauren laying beside me, and usually somewhere between the blankets, snuggled up between us, is our son Beacon, in need of an immediate diaper change. We savor the few moments we get to be alone before he wakes up each morning. Those moments are few and far between now, but nonetheless our love still remains. Marriage is awesome, but also very hard work. I’ve asked my wife to help me put together this blog on the things we’ve learned in our first year and a half of matrimony. Her responses are in red.

1. Don’t take competitiveness to the extreme. On our first date, I took Lauren to Dave and Buster’s. I tried to beat her in every game. The entire date consisted of her holding my jacket while I ran from game to game trying to win tickets. I am extremely competitive, but at this point I was standing there looking at Jordan like, “Is this kid for real? This is an arcade, not the Olympics!” To my defense, I won the 1000 ticket jackpot on one game. I actually found that pretty attractive. I didn’t realize at the time that she just wanted to enjoy my company. After several episodes like this early in our relationship, she sat me down and gave me a stern talking to. So now I show her a bit of grace. I still beat her in everything; I’m just nicer about it. You only ALWAYS win because after I beat you you make us play again until you win! Last year, WHILE PREGNANT, I smashed Jordan and B.J. Futrell (Hi BJ!) in a game of bowling. Of course we had to play again until Jordan beat me and rubbed it in my face. Bad idea. Pregnancy hormones + competitiveness = lesson learned. But the bottom line is, be graceful when you win!

2. Don’t try to win an argument just to prove a point. I recognized quickly that it wasn’t worth hurting her feelings just to get my point across. I wanted to win at everything, even arguments. When a debate would arise between us, I wouldn’t stop until my point was proven and she understood that I was right and she was wrong (Hey love, I think this is a typo.). Since she didn’t like to argue, she would be dismissive, and end the argument with a “Sure, whatever you say, it’s not that serious.” This would fire me up even more, and I would say, “This argument isn’t over! Let me tell you why you were wrong.” Obviously this got me in a ton of trouble, and I have learned that even if I’m right, we will agree to disagree and just end it with a kiss. He’s right, I don’t like arguing. Constructive conversations are way more productive. Brandon Slay gave me some great advice one time. He said, if you want to initiate change, tell your spouse a few things they’re doing right, and then hit them with the, “Do you think you could work on ______________ though?” I call it the, “Sugar ‘em up rule.”

3. When your wife says food is ready, you better drop whatever you’re doing and get your butt to the table before the food gets cold. Amen! One time, I was in our new truck trying to calibrate the navigation system. Lauren was cooking breakfast at the time, and as she finished, she popped her head out of the front door and asked for me to come inside because she had just finished making a delicious breakfast. I wasn’t finished yet, and I made the mistake of letting five minutes pass. She stuck her head out again, and I yelled back, angrily, “I’m doing something!” Another bad idea. Let’s just say, if she says food is ready, it doesn’t take me long to get to the table anymore.

4. Take your wife’s advice when she tries to push you out of your comfort zone. There have been so many times where I haven’t wanted to do something, Lauren has encouraged me to do it, and I’ve ended up loving it. I know some of you think a man who can win a World Championship on a broken ankle is Superman, but he really isn’t. That doesn’t mean I don’t “pump his tires” though. He’s the most capable wrestler on the planet, and I want him to truly believe that. So ladies, when your man leaves the house, make sure he feels that “S” on his chest.

5. Don’t go to sleep upset at each other. If you’re married, you know the days. You two are ignoring each other, walking around the house, doing your own thing, not speaking or making eye contact. The funniest part is when you’re getting ready for bed, and you are both in the same room pretending that the other isn’t there. Thank God for double sinks in master bathrooms, or you might have to break first and say, “Excuse me” so you can rinse. Then on to the bed where you both turn the other way, and pretend to be asleep. Stop! Turn around and make up with your woman. I once read, that a man should never wait for his woman to reconcile after a problem. I’m a big baby, so I struggled with this for a long time, but I have come to realize that it’s much more pleasant when you, nip it in the bud, and snuggle your lady. Yes, please.

6. Communication is key. If you don’t like something, tell her. If you love something, tell her. When we first moved in together, I didn’t do much cooking, and Lauren prepared most of the meals. She had learned most of her culinary skills from her mother, and I had grown accustomed to dishes from mine. Sometimes the way she prepared things was different than what I was used to. Try telling your wife, who just took time cooking you a meal, that you didn’t like it “her” way. Yeah, I know, tough convo. But those small discussions must be had, or else year’s of resentment build up into an angry explosion -- “I don’t like milk in my mashed potatoes!” Be gracious in these convos, but always honest. The earlier you have those conversations, the better! And it’s funny how quickly you learn one another’s likes and dislikes. Jordan and I didn’t date very long before we were married, so when we became man and wife, we were just starting our lives together. Now I hold the tomatoes on his sandwich, and put pepper in his eggs. Don’t worry, I still limit his doughnut intake though.

7. Don’t be Captain Obvious. My wife Lauren and I are two extremely strong personalities. So as you can expect, when we clashed, we clashed hard. We even had an argument on our honeymoon… in Bora Bora! Yes, you can be in one of the most beautiful places in the world and still argue. You’re also in one of the most beautiful places in the world when you make up :) As a wrestler and coach, I have been taught to point out the mistakes of those around me, as well as my own. I have learned to do this immediately, so problems can be addressed and fixed.. Don’t always do this in marriage. We were eating lunch, and Lauren spilled her very expensive glass of water all over the table. At the time, I felt that it was my job to remind her how much the water cost. Yes, you guessed it… HORRIBLE idea. So don’t be Captain Obvious. No one likes him. Be nice. She knows she made a mistake, tell her it’s ok. You were lucky we were in a pretty classy place. I may not hit a double like you but I was ready to smack you back into North America. I didn’t bite my tongue then, but I should’ve. My response to him started an even bigger argument, over WATER. Bottom line, marriage requires GRACE, GRACE, and more GRACE.

8. Don’t pee on the toilet seat. Don’t you guys learn this when you’re like 3? I’ve been yelled at in our marriage for this more than anything. It takes a second to put the toilet seat up, but who feels like doing that every time? Not me! Do it anyway. I couldn’t imagine being my wife, getting up at 2 a.m. (or 1, 2, 3, and 4 a.m. when you’re pregnant) to use the bathroom, and sitting on a wet surprise left by your loving husband. When I go to the bathroom now, she listens to hear the “clink” of the toilet seat being raised, or else there is heck to pay.

9. Always check in. When I was single, I was always the guy that said I wouldn’t check in. Now, I’m a Stage Five Clinger. It’s tough when I leave for training camps and other travels to keep in constant contact after long days. That’s because you guys hang out in the OTC Cafe til all hours of the night. What the heck goes on in there anyway? It’s like the locker room. Men complain about women, but I promise you my husband takes more time to get ready in that locker room than I do in an entire week. If Coach Manning is in there, add another 30 minutes. All it takes is a five- minute phone call or a simple text to let your lady know you’re thinking of her and that she is still a priority to you. Easy enough right? Easy, and much appreciated :)

10. Come straight home after work. Women just want to spend time with their men. I know it’s great to go out occasionally with your buddies, and spend some free time by yourself decompressing from a long week, but there is nothing like seeing your lady and your children after a long day. Kiss her and tell her you love her whenever you leave the house, and first thing when you come home. So true! Especially when you have babies. Sometimes after a long day home with kid(s), we just want an adult conversation. After a year and a half, I still get excited when I hear Jordan’s car pull in the driveway. I pray that never changes!

-Jordan & Lauren